Inspired by Love and Adventure...
I'm ready to take a Leap!
Towards my Wildest Dreams This Leap Year
A Life Transforming Year:
From Heartbreak to Twin Flame Divine Reunion Pt. I
I remember it as if it were yesterday, a chilling December night tormented my wildest dreams, pulling out the sacred totem shape shifter animal that's been given to me ever since I was born into a world through near death and fetal trauma. For those with Native American heritage it is no mystery that when our primal self emerges from the darkness to warn us of imminent danger like the captain on the ship of the Titanic realizing that capsizing is certain as the impact of the iceberg has already taken place, I awoke in the dead of night seeing myself in full Panther form realizing that we had to go, had to move, wander yet again to find solace, stability and hopefully new opportunities to survive in this vast wilderness with so few little resources available to those below the poverty line, especially after the economic crisis struck, I really did notice how every account dried up and that our place was no longer a sanctuary but a beast of burden forcing our hands to work to the bone each and every day just to ensure that rent was covered and that food was on the table.
We continued to pack long into each and every night, searched all over for new places hoping to find a place that cost 1/3 of what we were previously paying and preferably in the Tower District, a place that I always hoped to call home, and now have for the past four years now since the day Valentine's Day arrived. Not only did this wonderous artistic district filled with creative bohemian souls provide an outlet for creativity it also happened to be mere blocks away from Fresno City College, a college I'd been accepted into more times than I could count but just couldn't make it across town without reliable transportation. So as Valentine's Day arrived a man I once called "fiancee" and I found ways to manage the financial pitfall we were in due to self employment, the slow season and worse, the only savings we ever having being spent on drugs to ease the depression of a man who was quite immersed in self loathing, pity, and emotional masochism of the most foul. It's no wonder that of all the days he chose to move, knowing full well that I'm a hopeless romantic, that he demanded we move on Valentine's Day.
February 14th arrived, and it was time to move, a hellish day of abusive words from him about all of life's failures, then my own as he chose never to see the choices he made as an obstacle to financial security, stability or the simple life. We arrived late that night, unpacking throughout the next early morning, never realizing that my entire neighborhood already heard the hateful toned words that flew out of his mouth with the greatest of ease. Already moving in as the couple who was trying their best not to fall apart, I devoted my focus towards myself for the first time in life, pursuing an education I'd put on hold to help him solidify his business before returning nearly 7 years later to be told that college was a waste of time and that I shouldn't bother with such pipe dreams. After weeks of obstacles in the form of ex fiances was put in my way time and time again, I realized that this relationship wasn't working anymore, a part of my soul and heart knew that this chapter was almost over, I just had no clue how incredibly fast and profoundly so my life would change once true love stepped in to inspire my soul to take a leap....
Taking a Leap on Leap Day
Historical Traditions of Leap Year
"According to British tradition, a leap day is the only day of the year a woman can propose marriage to a man. As legend has it, in fifth century Ireland, St. Bridget complained to St. Patrick about the fact that women had to wait for men to propose."
"So Patrick allowed women one day every four years to take the initiative. The tradition became the basis for Sadie Hawkins Day in the United States, first dreamed up by Al Capp in his cartoon serial “L’il Abner” and celebrated either on February 29 or November 15, the day the first L’il Abner comic appeared".
- Source: Article Title: All About Leap Day
- Website Title: History.com
- URL: http://www.history.com/news/all-about-leap-day
As a healer I've always found St. Brigid to be a profoundly powerful deity to work with in the healing arts, as the sacred deity of healing, hearth and home, her triple fire provides the action, courage and passion needed to live, embrace and adhere to life's ebb and flow in incredibly healing ways. I invite her into my home every Imbolc and into the lives of women everywhere today and every leap day. She inspires us to live authentically and to never waste a moment's time proceeding towards the direction of our practical and healthy dreams, she's exalted in history and in modern pagan tradition for her selfless, loving and passionate ways.
As a woman who is an ordained minister I'm inspired to join couple's together in the institution of marriage, for those in modern traditions who thrive on love, family and joining two households, for this pagan woman however, the idea of marriage has a harsher tone, being a custom that was usually listed by the upper class to trade and barter women to other families like cattle in hope's of strengthening financial ties, bonding families with the siring of sons and leaving women without any self sustainability without the production of future men in the form of brood mares. I've always been a fan of pagan customs known as Handfasting's sacred ceremony of joining two as One, every year and a day to celebrate the chosen not forced institution of marriage as bought and paid for but a choice to choose eachother for another year and a day, or to part ways as treasured kin wishing one another well as we part ways, to unconditionally be chosen time and time again, this is the kind of love story I hope to have in entirety someday.
For those who think I've painted my gorgeous porcelain belly yellow, I do admit I've proposed to my eternal Twin Flame more times than I can count; so far tradition adheres to his soul, perhaps next leap year I'll have a nice ring to show off, but by next leap year perhaps another article will find itself revealed with expanded news about our sacred journey together in life, all I know is if you are a woman ready to propose to the man or butch of her dreams and is looking for a way to celebrate after they say "Yes!" I'm more than elated to officiate your beautiful ceremony and can't wait to bless your union in love and light as you depart the aisle as husband and wife. Take a leap! It's Leap Day, it only comes around when the year is divisible by the number 4, not every 4 years as we've all believed so far, who know's when this one will come around next?
Gloves to Hide Naked Ring Fingers...
"In some places, leap day has been known as “Bachelors’ Day” for the same reason. A man was expected to pay a penalty, such as a gown or money, if he refused a marriage proposal from a woman on Leap Day.
In many European countries, especially in the upper classes of society, tradition dictates that any man who refuses a woman's proposal on February 29 has to buy her 12 pairs of gloves. The intention is that the woman can wear the gloves to hide the embarrassment of not having an engagement ring. During the middle ages there were laws governing this tradition."
- Article Title: Leap Day Customs & Traditions
- Website Title: Leap Day Customs & Traditions
- URL: http://www.timeanddate.com/date/leap-day-february-29.html
Unlucky In Love
"In Scotland, it used to be considered unlucky for someone to be born on leap day, just as Friday 13th is considered an unlucky day by many."
"Because Greek superstition holds that marrying in a leap year brings bad luck, as many as one of every five Greek couples avoid planning their weddings in a leap year.
The first warrants for arrests in the Salem witchcraft trials were issued on February 29, 1692."
A Life Transforming Year:
From Heartbreak to Twin Flame Divine Reunion Pt. II
As Valentine's Day moving day passed by, so did the coming weeks in our new place on Van Ness Avenue. We familiarized ourselves with our neighbors, both pleasant, eccentrically cool and just fucking awful, life settled in again, as the weeks continued to pass by, I found solace in unpacking boxes, and hoping once more that moving into a new place also meant leaving bad memories, behavior patterns and abuse behind.
From secondary partners in our polyamorous relationship that used me and broke my heart to the night I nearly died at the hands of the man I once loved due to a week long drug induced concoction of methamphetamine and crack cocaine, followed by near strangulation and rape, I realized that this is why the panther in my soul came out once more and challenged me with claws, growls and screams in the darkness of three am, the witching hour of that cold December night to move with the winds of drastic change and to never feel sorry anymore for taking care of myself, regardless of how much longer this former man of my dreams turned monster was going to be in my life, I was now the focus of this healing process and I set my soul on fire ensuring I'd never again feel so trapped in a prison of abuse, regardless of lack of resources and little family who could help, it was time to make a selfish change, one that inspired me to be my own superhero and to transform trauma into a battle cry of start over, burn this city down and build from the cinders and ash of trauma rubble, to grow a garden that no man, woman, family member or stranger would ever dare defy on even their most egomaniacal day.
I focused all of my energy on creating beauty, love and light in the world over the coming weeks, from introducing myself to new spiritualists to ensure to their souls that Psychic Bella of Shadows Into Light Spiritual Services Temple & Archive was only a knock, phone call or email away for those who sought guidance to transform the darkness of shadows in their lives into enlightenment. Over the coming weeks, I wandered and roamed all over Tower District, making connections with my new beloved surroundings and searching for ways to change my life for the better. From connecting with social groups, reconnecting with friends I hadn't seen in years due to sequestering myself in North West Fresno trying to pretend that my life was so much better than the nightmare I'd gotten myself into, hoping that the dream that turned into a mirage would turn back into the dream I originally saw when he and I first met.
It was the first time that I accepted that I'd lost this game of chess, and refuse to travel further downward in this spiral of depression drowning in stasis wishing I had a way to follow my dreams with the one I loved, even if this meant no longer accepting the masquerade of love that currently existed in my life. It was time to tear up this self written book in my life, to stop watching cobwebs conquer my dreams leaving me in spiritual stasis mourning the loss of a life that could be lived if only it was able to be lived to the fullest in an environment that was nurturing and fostered genuine growth. It was time to see what was out there, before the bleak thoughts of suicide crept back in to offer their ultimate suggestions to a life of trauma's most challenging questions.
I felt the stirrings of my dark, tarnished and depressed soul, reaching out to inspire me to be reborn, I didn't fathom how, where, when or who would inspire change with the offer of generous help and the offer to exchange love, as a phoenix the only thing I did know was that it was time again to burn to cinder and ash, to be reborn to once more never forget not to fly too close to the sun.
A Life Transforming Year:
From Heartbreak to Twin Flame Divine Reunion Pt. III
On April Fool's Day a mere week after I'd created yet another Plenty of Fish Dating Profile, that I was sure would last for a week before every man and woman on their once again appalled me to delete it again; left in disgust I found myself more than astounded to see one of the most beautiful and ridiculously handsome men I'd ever seen, appearing to my old world eyes to be from a different time period compared to the endless hipster 5 o'clock shadows, Ed Hardy Hats and Jersey Shore girls this regal man's profile picture called out to me unlike any other I'd ever seen before. His eyes dark, smoldering and penetrating, his profile legitimately filled out with who he was authentically as a man, his passions, dreams, career goals, desires and his practical methods to living a beautiful life, haunted my soul as if in a time warped dream, "Could this be too good to be true? You've got me curious, you delicious stranger, dangerously curious" for two days the moronic, nonsensical and gross emails flooded my inbox, and yet in the section titled "recently viewed" this charming face kept popping up as one who's been recently oogling my profile, reading and perusing, yet not a single message arrived in my inbox from him.
It was the first time I'd ever felt myself being drawn into something profound, powerful and ultimately mystifying. It was always something in my soul that helped compel me to take a leap forward towards my free flowing multiverse destiny to find out just what this mysteriously beautiful man had waiting for me. I never found myself fixating on men this way before, in fact besides my primary partner I considered myself personally as a bisexual woman leaning much more towards women than to men. To be so captivated with somebody I'd never spoken too before was unlike me, I usually found such curiosity to be dangerous in my experience causing one's heart on a sleeve to recoil deep down into the dark chambers of the protection of my rib pillar caged.
I couldn't deny my feelings of curiosity any longer, I let my eyes gaze deep into his and once more read his profile seeing a few additions to it since I previously checked, "Were these new additions because of me? My curious eyes?" As a Mistress and former slave I've had more than enough experience in such games of prey between cat and mouse and for once my feline self wanted once more so desperately to see what this Lion had in store for this trembling white rabbit.
I remember my birthday arrived that year with no special notice, concern or care from the one I loved, if it wasn't for my best friend at the time, taking me out to one of our favorite gay dive bars to celebrate with the leather daddy crew, I probably would've cried myself to sleep seeing just how heartbreaking this usually more than celebrated day was now passing by without notice, much like the rest of my life and dreams at the time. The best part of my night on my then 24th birthday was arriving home early as the club was dead and so was my desire to be out any longer, was finding his message in my inbox, wishing me a wonderful birthday and hoping that it was everything I ever wanted and more. I realized that somebody caring, taking notice and even going out of their way to remember when we'd just started speaking less than a week ago, really had my heart open, wondering what this meant, what could it mean?
After learning so much about this man, in such little time the level of comfort was surreal, and as an empath the longer I communicate and form ties with anybody the more vividly I can feel them, and even feel how close or far away geographically speaking that they are to me, in the past this made for powerful long-distance tantric connections, and presently in this week, I felt as if he was next door, just behind me, nearly everywhere I was wandering around Tower District, and wondering why I felt him this strongly, and why I just couldn't stop thinking about him suddenly during the most mundane parts in my day. After realizing that were could walk to one another's home we were so close, the exhilarating feeling of wanting to wander around late at night like an alley cat during mating season, was overwhelming, realizing that unlike so many others that usually show me what's waiting for me at their bedroom door, I was given the air of mystery, told to come and get it, and given a private invitation to meet with him that Friday Night that would last until Twilight, a night before my 24th birthday to receive the ultimate in gifts, Him.
I waited to hear from him at his usual hours but no messages came through that morning to tell me where to meet him at what time exactly this big bad wolf would like little red riding hood to come visit; so I focused on getting drinks with my friend the next day and hoped that it wasn't the last time I'd hear from him. Along with the lovely well wishes for a good birthday came a reason why an address or time to meet up was offered, "I'm so sorry I never got in touch with you last night, my room mate was supposed to be out of town last night but suddenly decided to cancel their plans and throw a big wrench into the ones I had planned for you." Such a genuine exchange it felt wonderful to hear that he wasn't intent on never meeting, if anything just to have a great conversation with somebody of intellect in life was worth pursuing beyond all the butterflies that came along with endless flirting and chemistry. I didn't pry or ask questions, just took it in stride for once, and let this effortless feeling of ease continue between us and so the conversation continued to flow until he couldn't wait anymore, he had to meet me as desperately as I wanted to meet him.
On a dark, stormy Friday the 13th in April, in the year Two Thousand and Twelve; A Leap Year,
I was reunited with my Twin Flame.
A Life Transforming Year:
The Long Way Home
The air was alive that night, electrifying would be an understatement, I rarely tremble during rainstorms anymore but I knew deep down in my quaking heart that this was an adventure; once in a lifetime in fact. A chance to have so many secrets that have mystified my mind for centuries it seemed would be revealed once I met this incredible man that reached back his hand to mine as I reached out hoping that this would be the time the person reaching back wouldn't be afraid to share everything this universe has to offer with one another. I wasn't disappointed in the slightest.
After effortless flirtations were the endless flow of this already carnal exchange it was no surprise to me when I arrived to his home, waiting as he instructed me to do so, to meet me at the gate. I must admit by the time I saw him approaching I was trembling far too much to find the ability to make it to the gate, in fact red cloaked I found myself sliding out of my seat, and locking the door, just in time to have him introduce himself to me, with those deep, dark, penetrating eyes, his wicked smile twinkled in the full moon light. With passion overflowing it was hard to strike up words when lips were much too busy sharing the carnal, visceral energy that we spun into existence together in secret for the previous two weeks of our pre-planned love affair.
After I followed him into his backyard and wandered into his back room, a dark and dreary place, illuminated with candles, mirrors and plenty of sumptuous pieces of furniture for this feline to find more than inviting. We sat down and partook of our mutual lover, lady cannabis, the conversation flowed, and we couldn't get enough of each other, not that night and not any other night I've ever known these past almost four years now. The sexuality exchanged in deep, mind shattering tantra was more than either of us had ever shared with anybody in this world before, we were used to being used for sex, to be the ultimate gift to another as we realized long before that we were the best they'd ever have, even before those words were uttered later in the night after pleasure, passion and games of S&M were long spent, for us to feel such generosity flowing ever forth too and from one another was beyond anything in this world that either of us still to this day can put into insulting words.
The ever flowing, passion, pleasure and endless compassionate exchange shared eternally bonded us and reawakened us both to glimmers of our previous incarnations together, and for the first time in my life, my heart, mind and body were on the same page of the book of life, it was time to take a leap, to exit, pack my bags, and find a way out from the cruel grip of abuse, self imposed bondage and what PTSD determines is my only deserving existence, towards Twin Flame Divine Reunion, beyond anything we could've ever imagined when first embarking upon this journey in 2012.
A Life Transforming Year:
Rebirth the Ultimate Catalyst Evolution
In Western Society it's easy to judge women for Victorian Social Crimes. Without the resources for women not to be owned and subjugated to abuse, domestic violence and worse, rape and assault, it's a wonder to me how we can fathom living, breathing and surviving in a country where there is no option for a woman when she wants to leave her partner and start over, she simply has to rely on her family; if she has any and hope that resources can and will be provided to start over, because for most of us who could even fathom of starting over and trying to escape those who are holding us emotionally, physically, financially and sexually hostage, we realize that there truly are no options for women like myself who realized that they could no longer endure, suffer and pretend that everything was okay, when it wasn't.
In fact I tried leaving my primary partner many times over our seven year relationship. Each abusive moment that arised, the cops were called, and I begged for help and resources, nothing was offered and the abuse that ensued after the calls over the next coming days, weeks, months and eventually years, was worse than if I just left the first time, left to be homeless and destitute, roaming the streets wondering if I'd ever get back on my feet again. This is the reality of women's rights in America and the rest of the world right now, if you fell in love with a rapist then you have two choices, leave without help, resources or a place to go, or stay and hope that you can make a break for it, eventually.
This toxic dynamic was instilled in me at a very early age with parents who abused drugs and alcohol and couldn't physically or emotionally contribute to my health or growth as a young child, it's easy to see how women continue to try to do what's right, by not leaving their current partner to pursue one that's genuinely loving, caring, helpful and doesn't desire to hurt them in any conceivable way, because if we as women leave our abusers in favor for a man or woman that treats us right without first moving out of the home we share together, dissolving our assets together, married or not, and then taking the proper mourning time to then proceed to date, it's astounding to me why those in the Victorian Era had such a high concern with older barren female children, you never get a chance to even bare children you're too old too by the time you've adhered to social propriety.
What should've been an easy process, took months for me not to feel guilty about, as I still shared living space with my primary partner though our relationship was agreed upon as roommates until we can each find a way to move out, was the existence of our circumstances even though so many thought of us as some happy, blissful couple who were planning our wedding. This is the tragic state of women's equality in this day and age, be labeled as a whore and shunned by all of those who disagree with social crimes as vividly as criminal convictions or continue this facade of engagement bliss while my Twin Flame waited for patiently and watched over me in protection; never asking or inquiring for more, just loving me and embracing the time we shared together every moment we arranged meetings for dates, events and excursions and just time to wander around as One and realize that we are all each other every truly wanted or needed.
I found it more than odd in this particular circumstance to try to span two very different worlds one that was overwhelmed and blinding in darkness and the other so vividly brilliant that no woman, man or even inter-dimensional being could deny that this was the more than obvious choice down the life path to certain true love destiny. It wasn't easy to say goodbye, it wasn't easy to watch as somebody else had their heartbreak as much as mine if not more due to the harsh rejection. After being broken up with 4,000+ times over trivial debates and arguments in seven years, one day in December a few days before our destined 7 year anniversary, my former fiancee broke up with me for the last time, and instead of running to cater and please his pride while mine was shattered in pieces nowhere to be found, I found the strength to accept what was always freely given instead of choosing to fight for nothing more than the chance to fight again in the future, like a Spartan.
When we are only afforded the options between abuse and possibly death, I'll gladly wear the word Whore carved into my forehead with an old rusted knife, it's much more freeing to reject society when their choice to reinforcement comes with the price of you possibly sacrificing your life, or worse living with trauma hand in hand until the day you die.
The next few months were the hardest of my life, never imagining that both pursuing entering into college full time for the first time and dissolving a broken relationship with my now ex-fiancee/roommate would be the biggest challenge in life, while trying to keep it all together I realized the reason why it began falling apart in my hands in the first place was due to this very request I asked the universe years ago and again that spring with a dear friend by the river.
"Reveal to me True, Twin Flame, Undying Love, I my soul set on fire with Enlightenment this Year." I should've known when my priest shaman friend said "Oooo good Goddess, you are definitely asking for a harsh path this cleansing cycle" I should've realized fully what that meant but now almost four years later it's just fully coming around to reveal the ultimate answers of love divine, always finding away to take us out of blinding darkness into brilliant light.
Because no woman, man or child should ever feel obligated to continue to soothe the soul of those who have done nothing but take their soul away. We deserve better in this world, you deserve better, 2016 is the time to TAKE A LEAP!
The Year of Carpe Diem:
Eternal Paradise in Twin Flame Divine Reunion
It's been almost four years now and I honestly don't even recognize myself anymore. That weakened, timid and reclusive girl has blossomed full bloom into the most gorgeous and well protected wild red rose this rose has ever seen radiating color and fragrance for the entire world's garden to see. I never knew how truly crucial it was to preserve not only my sense of self, but more importantly to this old world bohemian dreamer, the ability to pursue this life and all of my passions with full fervor until the end of time, was only impeded by those who refused to love, care for others and who truly refuse to exchange anything but vile and poisonous self hate onto those who just want to make the world a little brighter, to smell a little sweeter and to be a bit kinder in these harsh and challenging economic times.
To share generous conversation with a man that challenges my ideals, my views and my shortcoming's each and every day with political, religious, philosophical and idealist rhetoric is just one aspect of life's simple beauty that was truly missed for years while I tried to love someone who could never love themselves or anybody else, resulting in heartache for any sensitive spirit like myself who just needed a little water, light and hope to be doused with chemicals, mud and darkness for what felt like an eternity. To never feel the harsh weathered storms of somebody who uses anger as a violent weapon, to only be embraced with love, support and unending faith that I am by far a living goddess incarnate, his true Shero in all forms of the word, one who united with me four years ago to ensure that cancer was cured with the ancient healing powers of Cannabis, and from that first conversation and entire life's mission to join forces together, to help those who have no help, to love those who have no love, to provide to those who are unable to find doctors invaluable ways to heal themselves, mind, body and spirit.
To know endlessly that your dreams are a priority by someone else's standards, is the ultimate in love, it sets your soul on fire, leaves you with ease to spend hours inspired to wander the cosmos creating, innovating and reimagining things into existence that have yet to return or ever form here before. To transform the quality of life for every single human being on this planet, this has and always will be my calling in life, and to finally have that partner inspiring me to take leaps into his arms, towards my dreams and to the future of tomorrowland, it's certain that this is the reason why we call our Twin Flame's Home.
To share in a magical experience together a way to reinvent the universe, to reimagine and reverse engineer things we've overlooked in the past to now find reason to pay attention to it to see if it in fact will thrive: to grow in the garden of life without restraint allows me to feel as light as a balloon, to pursue my writing pursuits, to travel the world with the man I love and call home, to share every secret of my life experienced with him thus far to now, and to create a world he and I would be proud to live in together, this is what true, undying love is all about, the one thing I never had in life but truly ever wanted, this is what taking a leap on leap day is worth, having the universe give you everything you ever hoped for and everything in this world that you personally deserve.
The Year of Carpe Diem:
The Journey Continues
It's been incredible seeing life transform from hell into paradise over these past four years, it's a reminder today for me as he and I just left our keys at my former residence together yesterday, after moving for the past two weeks into here with him, that with each tear that left my eyes and his when we finally said goodbye to my first official home, that it was a hallmark of healing, a true journey towards love, light and embracing what it means to finally come home.
For me so often moving was a time filled with sadness, hoping endings and new beginnings would transform abuse into the ultimate change in life to hopefully let it stick this time to prevent yet another home from being tarnished from endless scream filled fights or nights when locking myself in a closet was the only way I could feel safety, with nineteen years under my belt of torture from both my mother and my ex, it's easy to see why moving is usually a welcomed part of life for abuse survivors versus just another complication to life as so often it is seen for those that have it far better than they could ever imagine, never having to realize they need to take a leap that instead somebody before them ahead of their time did so on their behalf so that like myself they would never have to go through the arduous spiritual journeys that gypsies and shamans make daily just to survive.
To put it in better words of how I feel about this whole journey thus far let me share the words that came flowing from my soul a mere hour after we set sails from the last chapter in our journey together at that home, together with each other as our home as well as the entire world waiting for us to explore it, travel and to wanderlust journey to a place we truly desire to plant deep roots and to create an entire world that one another can embrace, love and enjoy without ever feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders or the breaking of their hearts anymore.
February 28th, 2016
The Cycle of the Number 10:
The way healing arrives is always so strange and beautiful, today was the day I officially moved out of the first place I ever transformed into Home.
Most of life, moving out of places was common and stressful, it usually meant that once again my mother was off the wagon and this gypsy soul had to follow the winds of change, whether I liked it or not, beyond the heartbreak of saying goodbye to roots and thus again being uprooted towards change never knowing quite how to take root myself or if I'd ever truly grasp such a process in life.
For most moving is exhausting, tiredsome and comes with a lot of errands, for a child with PTSD who had a mother who was drunk or using again, it was a sign that once more I had to feel uncomfortable with the process of eviction, of having a formerly nice landlord or landlady, despise us after my mother used, manipulated, lied and tarnished every relationship that she ever created along with damaging the possibilities to ever go back, burning bridges was the only consistency in life then.
Beyond the heartbreak of saying goodbye to friends again that I grew close too and cared for deeply came the depression of once more never having the resources to grow because we were always starting over, ever 3,6,9 or sometimes 12 months.
Today it was cathartic to move into a place almost two years ago that had not ties or bad memories attached to living with somebody with drug addiction, or poor social skills causing evictions to be a normalcy in life when it's far from it. No more home's to leave bad memories of abuse and neglect behind hoping this "fresh new start" would actually stick this time. Instead my love and I cried in each other's arms as we swept the apartment and tossed out the final bag of trash before locking up and saying goodbye.
At 28 years old I never thought I'd finally have the ability, control and fortune to be blessed with not only an incredible love that's eternal and true, but a love that helped me grow, blossom and bloom over the past almost four years now, to realize that on this numerological day of 10 a number that signifies both profound endings in a chapter in one's life and also bright, hopeful and wonderous beginnings, that I've finally reached that space inside that feels confident, at peace and the calm in the center of the storm of life. No matter where we go, where life and our wildest dreams take us, we have already found home, in the place we loved, lived and laughed together.
I'm so eternally grateful for this lesson in life, one of assurance and validation that if we believe in ourselves and ensure that only those around us want to share water in light instead of chemical poison in the form of negative behaviors and views in life that we can do so much more than just thrive on this planet, but we can be living, breathing visionaries, that put dreams into action and pull down the most beautiful thoughts to transform this world from within and so without.
Needless to say comfort food in the form of Irene's Veggie Burgers & Fries in Tower District was the best way to say goodbye to by far my favorite place to have lived in my lifetime thus far, the one place that I created entirely on my own, with love, joy, peace and healing, a true home.
We're now more than elated to be living with family nearby in Tower still, as we focus on saving funds, finishing education requirements, and expanding our businesses together, as well as pursuing our dreams of owning a car again and a Tiny Home Revolution that the city of Fresno just granted as legal. The winds are changing, our dreams are calling and I'm so ready to see what this next chapter in life has in store for us now.
Goodbye Wishon Apartment We'll Miss You
You've lived for so long, and waited until now to grab a spoon and dig in! Take leap this is your chance and your year in 2016 to finally capture every beautiful thing your heart has desired. As for me, I'll be busy traveling, building an empire and sharing a life well lived once more as Twin Flames take a leap towards our ultimate destiny and truest goals in life this year and every other following this one in the very long future we have planned ahead. I'd be more than glad to tell you more, but you'll have to wait for my book to reach publication next Halloween. *smiles*
In life every single day is leap day so just do it already...
Take a Leap, It's Leap Day!