The Rubenesque Revolution
150lbs Gone & STILL Sexy As Hell
Unhealthy Habits & Western World Living
We Learn Everything Here
We're taught at a very early age even before we're born what our lifestyle and eating habits will be. From breastfeeding to milk, fatty foods, meat galore and endless southern cooking recipes handed down through my Native American & Cowboy lineage it's easy to see with endless milk, cheese, eggs and every thing imaginable should be slathered in gravy, sauces and other calorie rich foods that usually just offered a full feeling with little energy left over for anything else but digestion.
As a child I suffered with lactose intolerance, food allergies and due to an extremely honed palate and most of my family cooking very similar recipes I was incredibly picky, this left me with a list of health problems, from being labeled at many hospitals and from family and friends as Bubble Girl due to my endless quarantined near death hospital visits. It's beyond crazy to me now at the age of twenty seven to realize that most of those issues could have been avoided if my parents were from India or any other Eastern countries that focused on vegetables, fruit and spices as the foundations of a healthy ayurvedic diet. My parents as doctor's mentioned that living off of cheese and potatoes for my entire childhood would not be substantial to raising a strong healthy child, tried endlessly to provide fruits and veggies that I enjoyed but sadly due to nominal cooking backgrounds I never liked any of it. As the fruits I did enjoy were very few and far in between growing seasons it wasn't until I started growing my own food with my grandmother on her farm before any part of this world was palatable to me. For most of my life any deficiencies were supplemented through vitamins or fiber pills something no child should ever have to take if they're receiving complete, bio-diverse nutrition.
Health Problems & Culinary Adventures
It wasn't until I tried my very first vine grown tomato that I actually enjoyed what I used to refer too as Satan's Fruit. The foul, bland let's be honest, disgusting ones they have at the store were a form of parental torture when I was grounded, but in that moment when I tried it fresh off the vine at the age of 13 did I start to realize how delicious food truly can be if it's properly grown, harvested, prepared and cooked or served raw. This was the first glimpse I ever truly had at what diverse food was available on the planet if only I was able to grow it all, I probably still wouldn't have my moments of being picky, which are much rarer these days than in childhood. As I started to research and explore cultures, religions and spirituality at that tender age, I have always been one to eat bizarre and rare foods but this inspired me from that day forward to always try something and recreate it if it's a new favorite dish or treat.
Paganism and the many sub paths in this grand varying tree of metaphysical views inspired me to attend the most amazing potlucks and barbecues surrounded by meat eaters and vegans alike and those few and random adventures were the next step to finding what true healthy living was all about. At the age of fifteen I was put on numerous medications for my health problems, most of the medications intended to help solve those issues such as high blood pressure, hypertension and high cholesterol, reflux disroder that left me throwing up violently in the morning every single day, combined with my at the time depression medication caused a horrifying weight gain trend that never stopped.
200 lbs & A Terminal Diagnosis Later
By the age of twenty three, after gaining over 200lbs just to save my life from other detrimental health concerns (listed above) I was formally diagnosed with Cushing's Syndrome a pituitary gland disorder that spelled certain death, I was formally given six months to change my life or continue down the road to planning my own funeral. From that moment I proceeded to fight for my life, after endless gyms, 600 sit-ups a day, and 3 hours a day in the gym or swimming pool just trying to shed a single pound, shopping at whole foods and only eating the best food that this world has to offer, months of grueling hard work, did absolutely nothing.
Well maybe not nothing, but when it's taken you six months to lose 40lbs and you gain it back not from diet by from your bodies desire to maintain the stress hormone cortisol which caused me to gain back every single pound and even more was detrimental to confidence and even more so on my willpower. I lost all motivation and sunk into a deep depression. when one is consumed and even receives injuries from gym equipment because they have the same intense regimen as a body builder and not a single pound gone, I had to figure out what was going on, what the hell was wrong with my body?
I'll Never Forget That Day
The moment my doctor after months of uncertainty as to what was going on finally got the blood panel back that I feared the worst, my adrenal glands were not showing any signs of cortisol but my pituitary levels were off the charts. The worst kind of Cushings Syndrome, the kind that's not only in my mind everyday as I fight for my life and any control over a body that's gone awry, but to be told that the only way to save my life as I started showing signs of pre-diabetes was to get invasive brain surgery or to try a strict vegetarian ayurvedic diet to see if that would work. At that time I was hoping I had the adrenal version, some medication and a quick surgery later and voila! I'm better, but to hear that invasive brain surgery, was the only option for somebody already diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I was more than motivated now to figure out what holistic path would grant me my first shot at a healthy life. I never knew finding the Twin Flame and man of my wildest dreams would've propelled and united two beings in such a profound way. He saved my life with the following information, and as I had no way to receive the invasive brain surgery without the following information I can guarantee you that today I wouldn't be speaking with you right now, today I'd be six feet under at the tender age of twenty five my doctor's estimate as to how long I could endure this disorder further without organ failure and terminal complications.
The Beginning of My Healthy Lifestyle Journey
Imij Medicine Holistic Health & Wellness
Being polyamorous in the past had it's benefits. After meeting this incredible man on Plenty Of Fish a well known online dating site I was quite smitten with the brilliance this man had to offer. We emailed endlessly for two weeks, discussing health and holistic methods, I rarely ever enjoy talking to people online or on the phone, usually people can't keep a conversation with substance to save their life, Jimi was different, we emailed for hours about every conceivable concept from health, spiritualism, the nature of humanity and so much more, it was April 1st 2012, I was certain this was the universe's way of toying with me, tormenting me once more with whispers of This is certainly too good to be true. But as I always do I left caution to the wind and like a leaf gently blowing in the breeze of a gypsy spirit, I was compelled to meet him and learn more about our equally shared goals, dreams and visions for the future. Truly I felt as if I was given access to a mystical apothecaries private holistic hospital and for a woman so determined to understand what options I had with my current terminal disorder I was more than compelled to meet this incredibly charming, profoundly insightful and brilliant man. Nothing that he was quite easy on the eyes did make this night time adventure much more appealing to the modern gypsy.
When we first met the information shared was endless, we both discussed my disorder and he was more than informed already about what it entailed, from reading endless articles recently just to learn more about what my disorder was to insightful offerings of holistic assistance as my doctor I was honestly overwhelmed and floored with such options, in fact I cried and he gently held me, hugged me close and reassured me with his help that one way or another I wouldn't be planning a funeral soon, instead I'd be planning a party! After talking all night about the endless options about my future health paths and directions I was for once not pulled out but slingshot out of my depression with a fire fueled so completely to burn forever that I still haven't stopped going even to this day and now that I have the energy to do so I'll never plan my funeral or worry about death fast approaching ever again.
Old Habits Reborn Into Modern Holism
After over the course of only 10 years I was given 25-30 pharmaceutical medications that caused immense weight gain as a common side effect I was sick every morning from stress and a reflux disorder called GERD. From vomiting violently every morning to feeling severe pain in my stomach every time I had to eat or digest food, my life was literally a living hell, most people assume you gain 200lbs from sitting around and eating all day, but eating was a very small portion of my day and sometimes not a focus at all when it was at its worst. The death of my metabolism catered to maintaining my weight at 415lbs along with the pharmaceuticals. After being introduced to the wonders of Gershon Therapy, consisting of raw fruit and vegetable juice cleanses as well as cold coffee colonics I realized just how severely devastated my organs were from these awful medications! From having 17 Gallbladder Stones the Size of Golf Balls from the Depekote that was used for the previous ten years for depression I was almost physically unable to digest food. For the first six months this was my life, juicing every morning, sometimes twice a day and cold coffee colonics up to twice a month just to allow my body to cleanse, detox and purge every chemical out of my body, the only option was going into Inpatient Rehab something they don't inform you about when they give the prescription slip to you and send you out the door until your next appointment, after already having so much stigma attached to me my entire life I refused quite stubbornly as I was in the first semester of starting college again to stop my life for 3 months just to detox. This stressful, painful and awful process was endured at home which was much more comfortable than tremoring and shaking violently against the floor and walls like Angelina Jolie in Gia. I didn't enjoy those cruel days walking down Van Ness with only my bicycle to steady my tremor nerve withdrawls but with the love and support from my doctor and present boyfriend, as well as being so fiery pissed off with rage as to what my life's been from just taking these medications I couldn't stop this early on my journey those first few months were a living hell on earth but I never would have endured without Gershon Therapy and the following aspects of holistic health that truly saved my life.
When I joined Fresno's Pagan Community I was overwhelmed with the endless, bi0-diverse, mouthwatering vegan dishes that were given to me, shared and brought over from friends when we enjoyed having mystical energy work parties with high energy sustaining food for psychic burn-out prevention. Each time I ate one of these meals I felt reborn, light, full of energy, ready to do absolutely anything, muscle, joint and ligament pain was gone and for once I felt as free as I did when I was a child, with boundless energy, the world was my oyster and creativity abounds. Then I'd return home and eat the way I usually did, meat, veggies, cheese and lots of milk, juice or chocolate for dessert. I felt full, heavy, tired and lethargic, all the old aches and pains were there, yet I didn't notice it fully yet. As my newest neighbors at the time were also vegan and Buddhist I spent countless hours there enjoying metaphysical and spiritual conversations while devouring vegan spaghetti and meatballs that reminded me of an old Italian woman who used to babysit me while making the most hypnotic meals. I was shocked and floored at not only as to how easy it was to be vegan but it was fucking good! When I met Jimi he recently converted for health purposes after losing a grandmother to colon cancer due to unhealthy diet, he took it as a serious sign to make changes or end up the way she did. This was 2 months before we met. Since then and every time I visited for medical check-ups and new holistic advice or routines for my bodies detox and transformation process, I was always offered the most incredible vegan meals and each and every time I left I felt amazing, but each time I returned after eating my diet I felt like absolute shit. So on June 22nd, 2012 I decided with no influence or suggestion I might add, to try being vegan just for a week, see what my life would be life, 3 meals a day, entirely vegan. I must admit the with drawl from cheese and milk was the worst, I didn't even miss meat, not steak, burgers, chicken or bacon, none of it was what my body wanted anymore and after two weeks every charred piece on grill or stove top smelled of rotting flesh, it's crazy what your body naturally notices when it's not being given meat. So after a week I wanted to keep going, so I went for two, still had cheese and milk I instantly stopped buying and the bill decrease alone was motivation to keep going, not to mention the lack of mucus, puffiness from lactose intolerance and have I mentioned the buttload of energy that just won't stop! With each experimentation in the vegan kitchen, some have come out horribly, others are now incorporated into my recipes and there's even a squash recipe I make that mimic's turkey so completely it will have any meat eater calling me a liar! It's pretty damn amazing what you can do with veganism if you're just willing to work hard, shop everywhere and get creative! Having an amazing Doctor Boyfriend who's a brilliant chef doesn't help either, so take a raw food prep class who knows what sexy devil of a health nut you'll find in there waiting to make you a healthy meal for a night of salsa dancing between the sheets.
Forks Over Knives
Plant Based Diet for Beginners
Cannabis Oil aka RSO/Phoenix Tears
After watching endless documentaries, and real life YouTube videos of people dying from cancer, being diagnosed with Cushings Syndrome having doctor's shocked and left in awe when their diagnosis turns to a full blown cure, not remission, cure, from every possible disease internal and external, yes I've even cured cancerous moles on my body with this amazing oil, after researching and already being a prop 215 patient, I was more than ready to use concentrated medicine as a way to cure this internal brain tumor as nobody was going to open my skull and take pieces of my brain out of my body, this was not an option. I started on the Oil during my cleansing and detox process of pharmaceuticals if it wasn't for this miracle medicine and I truly as a metaphysicalist and spiritualist detest using this word miracle, due to most misconceptions that come along with such a word, but truly after over two decades of struggling just to stay alive, each vegan capsule that I took 3 times a day sufficed enough concentrated medicine to ensure my body wouldn't tremor, with drawl and that I could lead a perfectly normal life during the hardest part of my journey thus far. I'm still an avid Cannabis patient and utilize it for many disorders such as PTSD and the left over brain and nervous system issues that came from my near fatal car wreck in 2009. Without this crucial medicine incorporated into a vegan and gershon lifestyle I never would've been able to endure the process of being reborn. As reincarnationist's say "There's a reason why we crossover before coming back into a new body, it's a lot less painful than full rebirth on planet earth" I'm fortunate enough to have gone through, endured and survived this battle that my body wreaked havoc on me with, and because of this incredible medicine I too got to see that shocked look on my doctor's face when the blood panel came back completely negative for Cushings Syndrome, and because of that moment I'll never stop using this miracle medicine as a crucial part of my holistic healthy lifestyle.
Changing the way you View Curves
My mother was at the time giving me illegal and now FDA banned diet pills, she had absolutely no self-esteem and after seeing her rip herself apart and force herself into a state of malnutrition and severe depression in a four year state of pure exhaustion trying to appease a man that desired a thin woman I was disgusted, angry, pissed off and quite literally refused to buy into this bullshit mentality. She was left with no self-worth, no self-respect and still after her entire life of desiring nothing more than to be thin, as that is the pure equation of love in her mind's eye, I couldn't refuse to live life fully anymore and after living with my Aunt over the next few summers I realized what true beauty, confidence and body love was all about.
In Oakland California the women are thick, healthy and the idea of a curvaceous, beautiful woman dancing and shaking what her mama gave her on the dance floor radiating Goddess energy of pure body love and self-love imbibed with confidence was truly an eye opening experience that changed my life. I came back reborn and every boy and girl in my classes that year couldn't help but take notice.
Somethings Different About You
Your SO Confident, You're Glowing!
What is your Secret? Please Tell Me!
The secret is that I realized that day when I had the most freedom in my spirit on that dance floor in that very 8 mile-esque club room in the back alleys of Oakland dancing with my cousins and her friends, hearing men and women tell me how beautiful I was and how fucking awesome of a girl I am to keep up with the pro's dancing and living life to the fullest, not caring if it was good, not giving a shit how hot I looked or if my cellulite was showing. I'd given up on not nourishing my body just because other immature and insignificant assholes chose to view beauty as much of America's Society still does, with Thin is In. Since that day I've never truly been the same I realized why I was here, to live life, to enjoy every adventure and moment as fleeting and few as it all truly is, who cares if I'm curvy, I look good! I feel good that's all that truly matters and if you can't handle the dangerous curves ahead, then move over because a real man or woman isn't afraid at all of the love and sensuality oozing out of every pore of my Rubenesque curves.
Nothing Sexier than a Confident Woman
If it wasn't for those summer's in Oakland surrounded by real people of real beauty, I never would've glimpsed what this world had to offer, I've found that reinforcing these positive body views with those that radiate and reinforce the same ideals is crucial to the process of breaking down this Westernized ideal of Beauty. Regardless of my endless haters, those that claim I still need to lose weight, or worse that I've currently got an eating disorder just because I lost 150lbs, it never goes away, there will always be somebody that doesn't like you, somebody that doesn't agree with your approach in life, but as they say Fuck Em, this is my life to live and I refuse to count calories, count pounds and weigh myself in at a clinic like a damn animal waiting to be featured at the county fair, I say goodbye to exercise and hello to living life fully and with each confident step I make into the world I hear endless cat calls from men and women galore. It never has anything to do with what I'm wearing, or how dressed up I am, it's about the swagger, the charm, the fact that I know I am the sexiest bitch on this planet and I refuse to listen to anybody that chooses to disagree with me. THIS is The Rubenesque Revolution, THIS is the core of healthy living, to find what makes you happy, follow your bliss and see your life transform overnight from your wildest dreams to a very real reality.
Seriously get out onto the dance floor, be yourself completely every moment you'll never regret it, fall in love with yourself first then the whole world can't help but fall in love with you too.
Life Changing Moment Alert!
In the height of my Cushings Disorder and after working out with Oprah's regimen of 600 sit-ups and 3 hours gym days my eyes were further opened by this beautiful and enduring woman, she was bulimic for many years, counting portions, calories, numbers on the scale this was her entire life, and when I was at my worst eating only once a day 800 calories or less and dancing professional up to 20 hours a week on top of school and house based duties it was a true shock to me then that I was pushed and pulled into that very similar hell for years of my life. Just sitting here writing that now is appalling to my current psyche, I can't believe I allowed or worse my own mother allowed me to partake in such a lifestyle knowing full well that this was certain health suicide.
As I did my 600 sit-ups for the day I continued to watch this life changing episode, from hearing about her eradicating all forms of scales, counting and exercise from her life I was at a loss for words as to how she maintained such a healthy living if she never exercised. I was so confused I stopped working out that instant, and honestly haven't been back to a gym since! She professed her love of hiking, horseback riding and just living a fully conscious life, in the now. She said goodbye to all of her habits, her routines and OCD based regimens and allowed her soul to breathe, her depression and eating disorder took her away from the passions she enjoyed most, and for many years mine did as well, from Professional Dancing, Singing, Violinist & Musician, to so many activities in art that I put away, just like I put myself away deep down in the darkness of depression, for years it turned into routine fixations and not eating until I felt sick and absolutely had to do so to keep going for the day. After this moment I took her advice on vegetarianism and stopped exercising and instead found endless ways to live healthy, passionately and fully in my vessel and presence and since then so many of my long lost loves from art, music and performing are back or slowly reemerging from years of being hidden away in old dusty libraries compartmentalized while my depression and eating disorder took over completely.
Please watch this 5 part series, it's truly what every woman and man needs to watch to identify where they're perception is totally off based, it eradicates Western Concepts of Beauty and identifies what's truly healthy, important and vital in living a beautiful, long and happy life. Let this be your starting point if you have none, and let it fuel your fire to be the Goddess or God of Health that you've always dreamed of but never knew existed until now.
Goodbye Exercise, Living Life to The Fullest is my Goal
With all these endless vegan meals to make and a doctor love that just so happens to enjoy growing food as much as I do, I've turned my endless gym workout routines of pure boring fixation into a truly wonderful past time that also supplements and provides the most bountiful and enriched food I've ever eaten. From endless hours of planting, tilling the earth and tending to weeds and pest's, I spend countless hours outside now in the garden even on these hottest of hot summer days and the experience of watching something grow from seed to fruit, freshly harvesting it and preparing it that moment into the most mouthwatering meal of my life has truly enriched my life and moods unlike anything before. When I was a child I only got to harvest, the fun easy stuff, now I get to do all the hard work and guess what, I love it! my arms and back have never felt better, the strength my body has now provides endless fuel to keep going and each year our garden thrives, expands and provides new tasty treats for us to enjoy, who needs a treadmill, I have a garden!
When my ex moved out last year he also took the car, it was part of the deal to reconcile that he had a full time job that needed transportation and I lived just up the street from where I needed to be it was easy to say goodbye to a giant suburban gas guzzling vehicle and invest in the most adorable wheels a woman could ever ask for. After purchasing my bicycle and using it everywhere as it's my only form of transportation besides the bus, it's been my tried and true method to getting the cardio and muscle work out I need to release tension and provide my body with the relaxation it needs from my disorders. After bicycling to my boyfriend's house usually loaded with 40lbs of stuff in baskets and on backpack on an already 75lb bicycle, Oh no treadmill in the world could give me the workout this Betty gives me! Not only is it fun, quick and easy but it's truly freeing, to feel yourself fly and coast all over town, the trees touching down and the beautiful atmosphere it's truly cathartic for anybody with personality or mood problems, If you feel in a funk ride your bike! Bored today? Ride your bike! Nothing works better and provides so much fun. Living in Tower District is also a great way to meet other bicyclists with endless groups that Art Hop and Play Bike Polo you'll never run out of ways to feel the burn, and instead of being bored staring at other people working out your body is ripe with stimuli of beautiful surroundings and interesting people. I've never dug the Hamster Wheel vibe we all get at the gym.
Endless Passionate Nights between Twin Flames
Now I won't go too into detail, I'm saving all of that smut for my upcoming novel *smiles* but I will tell you the endless energy and vitality provided by vegan and ayurvedic diet provides the most insane passion a woman or succubus could ever desire. From Pomegranate juice being the drink of all deities of sexuality that pumps the blood to all of those sensitive, tender and healthy places all over the body, I've never been so satiated in all of my lives! The endless hours of passion, endless nights of games between lovers, no wonder my body has shaped up into that classic hourglass that makes men and women's hearts thump out of their chest! I've been enjoying the tantra lifestyle and tantra workout of my life! From feel good endorphin's to endless sore limbs I definitely enjoy all the elements that come along with this aspect of truly living in the moment. You'll be surprised just how often your Twin Flame wants to devour you like a ripe peach, trust me ladies and gentleman this lifestyle never, ever get's old, it just gets more passionate each and every healthy day I'm alive!
Who Needs The Gym? I Have Nature!
A Final Sexy Note
As I prepare the world for my next series I've been inspired to start a cause, create a movement of true beauty, not one of shape, size, pounds or trends but of holistic health, radiating self-confidence and creating beautiful surroundings everywhere we go, to leave our beautiful feminine touch on this planet with every person we educate about the endless variations in beauty, we'll finally transcend Western brainwash and finally live in the world the rest of humanity already lives in, one based on social values, elevating your life and helping those still suffering from endless disorders in the body image sector to free themselves and radiate the Goddess they truly are inside and out! I hope you enjoyed my Rubenesque Transformation and as I start to create workshops, classes and future art hop charity events to facilitate a clinic for men, women and children to become educated in the divinity of love and self-love for ages to come. Let's join together and celebrate the beauty of real women with The Rubenesque Revolution!
aka Madame Du Pompadour and very soon Mama Cass